A note on this piece: I wrote the original version of The Middle Wave in late 2025. The core of it hasn’t changed — but the research behind it, and my thinking about how to talk about this work, have sharpened since. This is that update.
There’s a moment just before dawn when the world is still dark. The light has already started inside the flame of a single lantern.
One lantern alone can’t brighten a whole path. But when a second lantern comes close enough, something happens that neither could do on its own: the first flame extends itself, lighting the second without dimming, and together they create more light than either had alone.
This is how the Middle Wave begins: a quiet ignition between two people. Your light connects with someone else’s, and the world feels a little less dark.
The Middle Wave is the movement that happens between us, and it’s often the first real lift in your next chapter.
A moment that lit the way forward
Years ago, when I was unexpectedly laid off from IBM, the drop hit me hard. Sudden, disorienting, overwhelming. Everything I’d counted on — my role, my routine, my financial stability — vanished overnight. Layered on top of that, my life had shifted into full-time caregiving, leaving me exhausted, terrified, and unsure how to begin again.
I remember rattling off a litany of fears to a friend on the phone. Who would hire me at my age? How would I replace my income? What would happen to my healthcare? How could I possibly reinvent myself now?
I was spiraling fast. Then my friend interrupted me gently: “María, what if this was your idea? What would you do then?”
It was like someone lit a candle in a very dark room. Those words didn’t solve anything. They sparked a possibility I couldn’t see before, and for a moment, I wasn’t alone with my fear. I was connected to someone who believed something more was possible.
It reminded me of something a mentor once told me: “Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.” That connection, that warm glow, helped me stop spiraling and start imagining.
It was the first lantern. From there, others appeared.
A lantern passed at the right moment
One of my clients described her transition as “a long hallway with too many doors.” She spent months walking that hallway alone, trying to think her way into her next chapter. Her journals were full, her thoughts were loud, and her clarity was nonexistent.
Everything shifted when a colleague messaged her: “There’s someone I think you should meet.” Just one name. One connection.
She hesitated, not wanting to look needy, uncertain, or behind. She reached out anyway. The conversation that followed didn’t hand her a strategy or a job offer. It lit something in her instead: a sense of possibility, a reminder that she wasn’t alone, a surge of renewed energy. I’ve felt that same shift myself, more than once.
That one conversation led to another, and then another. It was her Middle Wave: connection building momentum.
Where we are in the Ripple Journey
If you’ve been following the Ripple Journey series, you know we’re moving through this together: The Drop, the sudden dissolving of what once defined you; The Inner Wave, the small, steady micro-shifts that begin internal movement; and the Middle Wave, this piece, where the light starts to spread outward, and connection becomes the bridge between inner readiness and outer momentum.
The Middle Wave is where you meet the world again.
Why connection matters now: the biological truth
My Betweenward co-founder, Dr. Jerry Washington, wrote about the sequence our nervous system follows during transition: regulation, then connection, then motivation, then action. It’s biology, not philosophy.
After the drop, your nervous system is often still bracing for impact, even when you’re mentally ready for change. Before you can reconnect with purpose, you need connection with people, because connection signals safety; safety creates slack (mental bandwidth); slack supports context (belonging, possibility); and context restores drive (autonomy, mastery, purpose).
Connection isn’t optional at this stage. It’s the lantern that relights your internal flame.
Practical ways to begin the Middle Wave
1. The warm reach-out message. Two sentences, sent to one person this week: “You came to mind today, and I realized how much I appreciate your presence in my life. I’d love to reconnect when the time feels right.” No agenda or pitch, just warmth. This alone can begin the Middle Wave.
2. The lantern list. Write a short list of three people who help you feel more like yourself, listen without trying to fix, and leave you lighter instead of heavier. These are your lanterns. Begin with them.
3. The low-stakes conversation. Choose a chat that requires nothing from you except presence, not networking or strategizing or selling yourself — just talking with someone who feels safe. It regulates the nervous system more than you might expect.
4. The Level 2 connection question. In one conversation, ask: “What’s something you’re exploring or learning right now?” It shifts the conversation from roles to people and opens ground you didn’t have before.
5. Let someone else light your lantern. You don’t have to power your way through this stage alone. Let someone else’s belief, presence, or insight ignite something in you. It’s a human thing to need, not a weakness.
Where it’s pointing you
Ripples expand outward through connection, not force. Your next chapter doesn’t begin in isolation; it begins in shared light, multiplied. You don’t need a master plan for the Middle Wave, just one lantern in sight, one voice of encouragement willing to meet you there.
Sometimes what’s next becomes visible only when someone else’s light meets your own.
A time for reflection
Who are the lanterns in your life, the people who help you feel more grounded, more capable, more seen? What have you been trying to navigate alone that might be easier to carry if you shared it? What’s one small relational action you could take this week to spark your own Middle Wave?
Client stories are composites drawn from patterns across my coaching work, unless otherwise noted.
María Tomás-Keegan is a career and leadership coach, award-winning author, and trusted guide for people moving through meaningful change in work and life. Through her coaching, writing, and speaking, she helps people reconnect with who they are now, trust the wisdom they’ve earned, and lead forward with clarity, courage, and alignment. She created The Ripple Journey™, a framework for transforming work and life, and co-founded Betweenward™ with Jerry W. Washington, Ed.D.
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