There’s a moment just before dawn when the world is still dark, but the light is already beginning — quietly, invisibly, inside the flame of a single lantern.
One lantern by itself can’t brighten a whole path.
But when another lantern comes just close enough — the flame extends itself.
It lights the other without dimming.
It doubles the illumination.
It creates something that didn’t exist before: shared light.
This is how the Middle Wave begins.
Not as a forceful push outward, but as a soft ignition between people — a moment when your light connects with someone else’s, and suddenly the world feels a little less dark.
The Middle Wave is the movement that happens between us.
And it’s often the moment that brings the first real lift in your next chapter.
A moment that lit the way forward
Years ago, when I was unexpectedly laid off from IBM, the Drop hit me hard.
Sudden, disorienting, overwhelming.
Everything I had counted on — my role, my routine, my financial stability — vanished overnight. And layered on top of that, my life had shifted into full-time caregiving, leaving me exhausted, terrified, and unsure how to begin again.
I remember rattling off a litany of fears to a friend on the phone:
Who would hire me at my age?
How would I replace my income?
What would happen to my healthcare?
How could I possibly reinvent myself now?
I was spiraling down a rabbit hole — fast.
And then my friend interrupted me gently and said something I’ll never forget:
“Maria… what if this was your idea?
What would you do then?”
It was like someone lit a candle inside a very dark room.
Those words didn’t magically solve everything.
But they illuminated a possibility I couldn’t see before.
For a moment, I wasn’t alone with my fear.
I was connected to someone who believed something more was possible.
It reminded me of something a mentor once told me:
“Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.”
That connection — that warm glow — helped me stop spiraling and start imagining.
It was the first lantern.
And from there, others appeared.
A lantern passed at the right moment
One of my clients described her transition as “a long hallway with too many doors.”
She spent months walking that hallway alone — trying to think her way into her next chapter. Her journals were full, her thoughts were loud, and her clarity was nonexistent.
Everything shifted when a colleague sent her a message:
“There’s someone I think you should meet.”
Just one name. One connection.
My client hesitated because she didn’t want to look needy, uncertain, or “behind.” But she reached out anyway.
The conversation that followed didn’t deliver a breakthrough strategy, a job offer, or a roadmap.
But it lit something in her — a sense of possibility, a reminder that she wasn’t alone, a spark of renewed energy. I resonated with her response.
That one conversation led to another, and then another.
It was her Middle Wave. Connection building momentum.
Where we are in the Ripple Journey
If you’ve been following our Ripple Series, you know we’re moving through a progression together:
The Drop
The sudden dissolving of what once defined you.
The Inner Wave
The small, steady micro-shifts that begin internal movement.
The Middle Wave (this piece)
Where illumination begins to spread outward and connection becomes the bridge between inner readiness and outer momentum.
The Middle Wave is where the self meets the world again … gently.
Why connection matters now: the biological truth
In a recent article, my colleague and co-founder, Dr. Jerry Washington, wrote about the sequence our nervous system follows during transition:
Regulation → Connection → Motivation → Action
This is not philosophy — it’s biology.
After the Drop, your nervous system is often still bracing for impact, even if you’re mentally ready for change. Before you can reconnect with purpose, you need connection with people.
Because:
Connection signals safety.
Safety creates Slack (mental bandwidth).
Slack supports Context (belonging, possibility).
Context restores Drive (autonomy, mastery, purpose).
Connection is not optional at this stage. It’s foundational. It’s the lantern that relights your internal flame.
Practical ways to begin the Middle Wave (connection in practice)
Here are gentle, doable ways to start rebuilding your relational ecosystem — without overwhelm, performance pressure, or awkwardness.
1. The “Warm Reach-Out” Message (Two Sentences Only)
Send a message to one person this week:
“You came to mind today, and I realized how much I appreciate your presence in my life. I’d love to reconnect when the time feels right.”
No agenda.
No pitch.
Just warmth.
This alone can begin the Middle Wave.
2. The Lantern List
Write a short list of three people who:
help you feel more like yourself
listen without trying to fix
leave you lighter, not heavier
These are your lanterns.
Begin with them.
3. The Low-Stakes Conversation
Choose a chat that requires nothing from you except presence.
Not networking.
Not strategizing.
Not “selling yourself.”
Just talking with someone who feels safe.
This regulates the nervous system more than you might imagine.
4. The Level 2 Connection Question
In one conversation, ask:
“What’s something you’re exploring or learning right now?”
It opens doors.
It creates shared ground.
It shifts the conversation from roles to people.
5. Let someone else light your lantern
You don’t have to power your way through this stage.
Let someone else’s belief, presence, or insight illuminate something in you.
It’s allowed.
It’s necessary.
It’s human.
The Middle Wave is where light is shared
Ripples expand outward, not through force, but through connection.
Your next chapter does not begin in isolation.
It begins in illumination — shared, extended, multiplied.
You don’t need a master plan for the Middle Wave.
You just need one lantern in sight.
One voice of encouragement.
One moment of shared humanity that lights the next small part of your path.
Because sometimes, what’s next becomes visible only when someone else’s light meets your own.
A time for reflection
Who are the lanterns in my life — the people who help me feel more grounded, more capable, more seen?
What have I been trying to navigate alone that might be easier to carry if I share it?
What is one small relational action I can take this week to spark my Middle Wave?
The Middle Wave begins with one shared light — a reminder that you don’t have to walk alone. When you let even one connection brighten your path, the way forward becomes clearer than you imagined.
María Tomás-Keegan is a career and leadership coach, award-winning author, and trusted guide for women moving through meaningful change in work and life. Through her coaching, writing, and speaking, she helps women reconnect with who they are now, trust the wisdom they’ve earned, and lead forward with clarity, courage, and alignment. She created The Ripple Journey™, a framework for work and life transformation.
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